My eyelids are heavy. I feel bags growing. Dark circles are going to sink my eyes back if I stay up too much longer. My stomach gnaws and gnashes and I’m laying in the same position I started in six hours ago. I’ve tossed and turned and tried every trick in the book: Counting as high as I can go. Focusing on the black behind my eyelids. But nothing works. It’s close to 7am and I’m considering just staying awake.
At some point you start to get mad. Mad enough that you want to hit something. You want to hit something hard enough to wake other people so they can share your frustration. Maybe a wall, or in the case of bunks, the ceiling. If you wait long enough and get angry enough, you could hit something hard enough to break bones in your hand. But you don’t do that because, well, that’s stupid.
But, what can you do, other than try and be productive? No reason to force yourself to sleep if your body doesn’t want to.
So today, I will live on black tea and iced coffee and my eyes will burn all day and I’ll get hungry every two hours because that’s what happens when you get three hours of sleep. Your body functions on a sub-par level and your brain sits somewhere between haze and clarity.
The silver lining in all this is that Jaime’s coming today. That makes all the exhaustion and irritability worth it.
Wish me luck, world, today’s gonna be an interesting one.